Hello there beautiful! I don’t know about you but so far this month has been nothing short of challenging, in a good way of course. I have been put to the test in more ways than one, and yes, I learned some new things about myself.
The thing is, we think once we reach a certain age, we know ourselves so well. Truthfully, we should, but realistically, we never truly know everything this is to know about who we are. That is because with age comes countless life experiences in which every now and then we will learn something new about ourselves. Which is the beauty of living life, having new experiences, and being open to the journey no matter where it takes you.
I like to refer to this journey as the 6 stages of growth. Growth is the beauty of being able to watch yourself transform time and time again, learn new things about yourself you never thought possible, and adapt in ways you never knew you could. Growth is the journey to unlocking your full potential.
And even though this process will look different for everyone, we all go through the same stages to get to where we ultimately want to be in life. So, let’s explore these stages a little more, shall we?
The 6 Stages of Growth
Stage 1: Preparation
This is the stage when we prepare ourselves for our journey. The stage where we really take the time to think about what we want our lives to look like. We envision the type of person we ultimately want to be. We figure who we want to take along on this journey with us, and who we know we have to leave behind if we want to be successful. This is the starting point that you will often revisit (in theory) to remember how far you have come on your journey.
So, what should you do during this stage? Well, as mentioned this is the stage where you daydream about your best life and the best version of yourself, and you take that daydream and begin to brainstorm about what needs to be done to achieve it. Here are my best tips for how to prepare for your growth during the preparation stage.
Tip #1: Make a list – Make a list of wants and needs (think of this as your pros and cons but cons in a positive light). Your wants (positive cons) should include things that you desire to have in your life. Think along the lines of a family of your own, 5 rescue dogs, or traveling to a new place every year. These should be things that you know if you work hard enough and apply yourself you can actively work towards achieving one day. Your needs (pros) should include things that you know will help you achieve the bigger picture. Think along the lines of securing your dream job, owning your dream home, or committing to monthly therapy.
Tip #2: Set small goals – Once you have your list of needs create a small goal that will represent you achieving it. For example, if you listed securing your dream job as a need, then a small goal would be to land an entry level (or higher if you can) position in that field of work. Setting small goals is a great way to start the course of action you’ll have to take to get to the finish line you envision. Extra tip, if you have needs that are very similar to one another, lump them together in the same goal (think 2 birds, 1 stone).
Tip #3: Make a plan – Once you have your list and your goals the next thing is to make a plan. Look at all the goals you made and figure out what steps you need to take to move the needle in the right direction. For example, if you set a goal of saving a $300,000 downpayment for a home, figure out the steps you need to do to achieve it. First, you need to figure out when you want to achieve this goal (1 year, 3 years, etc.) Then you might need to figure out how much money you need to save each month over a certain number of months in order to achieve this goal.
Stage 2: Beginning Something New
This is the stage where you begin the journey. You have taken the time to prepare all the things that need to be done so that you can confidently move forward with your plan. This is the stage where you put active action behind all the preparation you did in stage 1. Think of this stage as green means go.
You have already done the hardest part, which allowing yourself to believe that you are not only worthy, but also capable and deserving of having everything you want in life. Now, all you have to do is just putting one foot in front of the other.
Stage 3: Resting
This is the stage where you allow yourself to rest. During stage 2 you will be doing a lot grinding to achieve your goals. This you are going to be actively working towards all your goals, refining them as you go, and repeating this process until you have achieved them, one by one. Once that happens you are going to feel exhausted mentally, physically, and possibly emotionally. You are going to want to take some time to rest. As you should.
However, be mindful that the resting stage is not a stage to literally sit on your ass and rest. Instead, resting looks like you slowing down and enjoying all that you have accomplished thus far. Think of it as pumping the breaks. For example, if you set a small goal to save enough money to spend the month of December in Italy, and you achieved that goal, when you get to Italy rest. Don’t bring all the other goals that you are actively working towards with you. Instead, spend that month soaking in the beauty of Italy, making memories, and enjoying the payoff of your hard work.
Stage 4: Continuing The Journey
This stage speaks for itself. Here you are continuing the journey. Let’s take the Italy example from above. You spent the month of December resting in Italy and have allowed yourself to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Now, January has now approached which means it’s time to get back to the grind. However, understand that during this stage you may have to revisit stage 2. This is dependent on how many of your small goals have been achieved up to the resting stage, how many goals may need to be altered, or if any new needs (which would create new goals) have been identified.
Be mindful that bouncing back and forth between stages 2, 3, and 4 is completely normal and to be expected on your transformation journey. In fact, I believe this is the stage that you will spend the most time in because as you will see, even with moving through the next two stages, the cycle will eventually start over. Why? Because unlocking your full potential is not a one-way street.
Truth be told we never truly reach our full potential because we are ever growing and evolving, but that’s a blog post for another day 😊.
Stage 5: Reflection
This is the stage where you spend time reflecting on your journey thus far. Think along the lines of getting an essay back from your teacher and having to apply all the revisions that were suggested. By time you reach this stage you should have achieved a couple of goals and made some significant progress. Enough to not only see the change you envisioned, but to be living your truth in that vision. Reflecting allows you to be able to appreciate the struggle, hardships, and hard decisions that you may have had to make to get to this point. Especially because sometimes the journey can and will get lonely.
Stage 6: Conquering…
This is the stage where every goal you have made back in stage 2 has been achieved, and you’re ready to begin anew. This is where the cycle begins again and you find yourself right back at stage 1, and making progress through each stage. Only with each new time you re-enter each stage you’re doing so with new needs on your list (maybe those previous desires become current needs), new goals to achieve, new resting experiences to be made, a different level of reflection, and a different level of conquering.
This is the stage where every time you reach it, you unlock your true potential a little bit more.
Conclusion
Growing is weird, awkward, uncomfortable, confusing, stressful, and sometimes defeating. I think I’ve cracked the code for what growing pains actually means. As dauting as this may seem, growth is such an empowering experience and I encourage you to embrace it fully. Don’t’ shy away from all those hard moments, especially the ones where you may feel like you’re stuck and going nowhere. Instead, embrace the changes that are coming your way, whether it’s directly or indirectly, and choose to see the opportunity of growth that exist. Choose to see the opportunity for your personal transformation. And use these 6 stages of growth to help guide your way.
Love and Light,
Kimora